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Welcome to Episode 187 of the Salsa Kings LIVE podcast
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Hey familia, it’s Andres! In Episode 187 of the Salsa Kings podcast, I sat down with a good friend and special guest, Adam “Montimaners” Montero. This one’s called “Expectations Kill Connections.” It’s all about how our own thoughts—expecting things from people before giving them a chance—can mess up the way we connect, especially on the dance floor. But this doesn’t only apply to dancing—it works with friendships, work, and even things like food orders. Let’s talk about it.
Key Points
Expectations Stop You from Having Fun
Adam shared how having expectations can ruin a fun dance. For example, when an older woman asks you to dance, you might think she can’t keep up. But when you expect less, you miss out. Some of the best dances happen when you’re just connecting, without trying to show off.
Don’t Judge People Before You Dance with Them
Sometimes we think a partner will be too slow or too stiff just because they look older—or maybe too wild just because they’re young. But that’s not fair. We don’t know their story. Someone could have an injury or be new to dancing. It’s better to stay open and enjoy who’s in front of you.
Less Fancy Moves Can Lead to Better Connection
It’s not about doing a bunch of spins or cool tricks. When there’s no “makeup,” no fluff, just two people dancing, the connection is real. That’s what dancing is really about—sharing joy and having fun in the moment.
Freedom Feels Better Than Control
Leads sometimes try to control the whole dance, but that makes the follow feel stuck. When you let go and just go with the music, both partners feel free. That’s when real fun starts. Same goes for follows—don’t shut down just because of what you expect the lead will do.
This Happens in Real Life Too
Adam gave a funny story about ordering food. He wanted arroz amarillo, but they gave him arroz blanco and mashed potatoes. He got upset at first, but when he took a bite, the food was actually amazing! His expectations almost ruined a great lunch. This shows how expectations can mess with even small things like enjoying a meal.
Let People Surprise You
People change. A dancer you haven’t seen in a while could have taken lessons and leveled up. If you expect them to be the same, you’re not giving them a chance to show you something new. That goes for all relationships—friends, coworkers, even strangers.
Your Ego is the One That Gets Upset
When someone doesn’t act how we expect, it’s our ego that gets mad. Letting go of expectations helps us stay kind, humble, and open. This makes life better for us and for the people around us.
Connection is Everything
In dancing, the music is like the phone line—it connects you and your partner. But you have to be present. You have to actually want to connect. And if you expect too much, you’re cutting off the signal.
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